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The heather varieties add just a touch of polyester for that ‘blended’ approach to life.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nAsh Tactics: The Ash color option stays nearly pure with 99% cotton but tosses in 1% polyester because, let's face it, nobody's perfect.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nHeather Maneuvers: The Heather colors know how to play the field, mixing cotton and polyester like a well-orchestrated drill routine.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPhysical Training Ready: Athletic and Black Heather are there for those who like their humor with a side of hustle, made with 90% cotton to absorb the blood, sweat, and tears of laughter.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPrism Precision: Heather Prism colors come in with a strategic 99% cotton for maximum comfort and 1% polyester because every shirt needs a little flexibility.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nLightweight Armor: Weighing in at 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2), this shirt is the lightweight mail of the modern jester-warrior.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nBattle-Ready Build: Pre-shrunk fabric means you'll retain your fit, no matter how many ‘thank yous' you battle through.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nStructural Soundness: Side-seamed construction keeps you looking sharp and sleek, with no flapping flanks.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nShoulder-to-Shoulder Defense: Complete with shoulder taping because every part of a shirt should show up and stand up for service.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWhen you don this tee, you’re not just wearing a piece of clothing — you’re donning a suit of satirical armor, ready to charge into your day with the comfort and confidence of a hero who doesn’t need to say it twice. 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the vet who's just as comfortable at a backyard BBQ as they are in a foxhole, we present the \"Approachable Veteran\" shirt. 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Fill it to the brim and charge into your day with the wisdom of Clausewitz (the parts you've actually read) warming both your hands and your intellect.","brand":"Duffel Blog","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39935058739287,"sku":"3706451_11051","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0554\/3929\/4551\/files\/white-ceramic-mug-with-color-inside-black-11-oz-front-6752614545515.jpg?v=1733452108"},{"product_id":"duffel-blog-logo-sticker","title":"Duffel Blog logo sticker","description":"Roll out the humor with the official Duffel Blog logo sticker, the ultimate badge of honor for those who take their satire as seriously as a 5 AM formation. 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Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth’s now-iconic words—“We are currently clean on OPSEC”—this postcard is the ideal way to stay in touch without compromising national security. Whether you’re writing home from a forward operating base or just letting your group chat know you’ve double-checked the recipient list, this card says it all with a wink and plausible deniability.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPrinted on thick, high-quality matte paper, it’s sturdy enough to survive the mailroom and vague enough to pass a security review. Send it with pride. No encryption required.*\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFeatures:\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\t4″ × 6″ of OPSEC-compliant communication\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tPremium cardboard paper for when your words should be impactful, but not traceable\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tCoated outer surface for durability—even in hostile inboxes\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tBlank inside, just like the Signal thread after everyone realized what they posted\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWhether it’s a birthday, a holiday, or just a “hey, I didn’t leak anything today,” this postcard is your go-to for low-risk, high-satire correspondence.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCurrently clean on OPSEC. Until proven otherwise.","brand":"Duffel Blog","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41627613528151,"sku":"3237286_11513","price":3.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0554\/3929\/4551\/files\/standard-postcard-4x6-front-67e492e01dd27.jpg?v=1743033062"},{"product_id":"whiskeyleaks-rocks-glass","title":"WhiskeyLeaks Rocks Glass","description":"For when the only thing spilling should be your drink.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nRaise a toast to transparency—whether you meant to or not—with the WhiskeyLeaks Rocks Glass. Inspired by Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth’s Signal chat overshare, this glass is perfect for sipping bourbon while pretending you definitely didn’t just text operational details to your fantasy football league.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCrafted from sturdy, high-quality glass and sized perfectly at 10.5 oz., it’s ideal for everything from top-shelf whiskey to bottom-shelf judgment. Classic, understated, and just ironic enough to make your next happy hour feel like a classified briefing gone slightly off the rails.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFeatures:\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tMade from durable glass—because at least one thing in this situation is solid\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\t3.4” tall with a 10.5 oz. capacity—plenty of room for ice, regret, or both\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tHand-wash only, because you wouldn’t trust a dishwasher with national security, would you?\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWhether you’re celebrating a win, drowning a scandal, or just enjoying a little “need-to-know” nectar, the WhiskeyLeaks glass is the only vessel worthy of your next sip and slip-up.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCheers to poor judgment in high places. 🥃","brand":"Duffel Blog","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41627666382935,"sku":"6877963_19793","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0554\/3929\/4551\/files\/rocks-glass-10.5-oz-front-67e4a2e670895.jpg?v=1743037210"},{"product_id":"whiskeyleaks-drink-coaster","title":"WhiskeyLeaks Drink Coaster","description":"Because the only thing that should leave a mark is your drink—not your digital footprint.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nProtect your furniture from spills, stains, and unauthorized disclosures with the WhiskeyLeaks Coaster—the ideal surface for your glass and your mistakes. Whether you’re sipping bourbon or nervously refreshing a group chat for signs of a breach, this heat-resistant, water-repellent cork-back coaster has your back (unlike certain Signal threads).\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCrafted with a high-gloss finish and rounded corners for a sleek, polished look—much like the excuses issued at the next press conference. Pair it with the WhiskeyLeaks Rocks Glass for the full “oops, I leaked it again” experience.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFeatures:\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tHardboard MDF with cork backing: stable, secure, and less likely to crack under pressure than your comms team\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tHeat-resistant and waterproof, because leaks happen—but not on your coffee table\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tEasy to clean, even if the same can’t be said for your career\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect as a gift, conversation piece, or subtle reminder to maybe not hit “send” next time. One coaster per item—because even satire has OPSEC.","brand":"Duffel Blog","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41627800502359,"sku":"7871839_15662","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0554\/3929\/4551\/files\/cork-back-coaster-front-67e4c09b4e6ec.jpg?v=1743044773"},{"product_id":"low-speed-high-drag-shirt","title":"Low Speed High Drag Shirt","description":"Built for comfort. Designed for mediocrity.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWhether you’re the last one across the finish line or just proudly embracing your tactical lack of urgency, the Low Speed High Drag shirt is your uniform of choice. 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Featuring a hard-charging soldier whose M-4 does all the talking, it’s the perfect wall art for troops, vets, and anyone who’s ever cringed at a Signal thread gone wrong.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPrinted on museum-quality matte paper, this poster doesn’t just look good—it intimidates leaks into silence.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSpecs:\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tThick, high-quality paper that screams “authorized for display”\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tMatte finish, just like your phone screen after you rage-quit the group chat\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tPrinted with a warning sharp enough to cut through your chain of command’s comms policy\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIdeal for offices, dayrooms, barracks, or anywhere someone might be tempted to “just drop a quick update” into a compromised thread. Hang it proudly, and remember: your M-4 doesn’t need Signal—do you?","brand":"Duffel Blog","offers":[{"title":"12″×18″","offer_id":41680138403927,"sku":"3861866_3876","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"24″×36″","offer_id":41680138436695,"sku":"3861866_2","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0554\/3929\/4551\/files\/enhanced-matte-paper-poster-_in_-24x36-transparent-68095b04741e9.jpg?v=1745443592"},{"product_id":"loose-signal-chats-poster","title":"Loose Signal Chats Poster","description":"Because “end-to-end encryption” can’t save you from end-to-career mistakes.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nInspired by WWII’s iconic “Loose Lips Sink Ships” campaign, this modern take warns of an equally dangerous enemy: unsecured Signal chats and senior officials with access to emojis and zero chill. Printed on thick, museum-quality matte paper, the Loose Signal Chats poster is a hilarious — and hauntingly accurate — reminder that even encrypted threads can go full Titanic with just one “👊🇺🇸🔥.”\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect for offices, SCIFs, comms rooms, or anywhere someone might confuse a group chat for a secure briefing.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSpecs:\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tPaper thickness: 10.3 mil — thick enough to absorb the shock of another OPSEC failure\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\t189 g\/m² paper weight, because this message needs gravity\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tBrightness: 104%, unlike that decision to text a battle plan\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tPrinted on premium paper sourced from Japan, but hopefully not shared with anyone in the Signal thread\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPost it. Frame it. Whisper to it in frustration. Just don’t forward it to the whole Joint Staff.","brand":"Duffel Blog","offers":[{"title":"12″×18″","offer_id":41680150659159,"sku":"3622335_3876","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"24″×36″","offer_id":41680150691927,"sku":"3622335_2","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0554\/3929\/4551\/files\/enhanced-matte-paper-poster-_in_-24x36-front-68095c02dc1e8.jpg?v=1745443847"},{"product_id":"enemy-eyes-poster","title":"Enemy Eyes Poster","description":"Because what happens in Signal… doesn’t always stay in Signal.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis bold, retro-inspired warning features the world’s most iconic geopolitical side-eyes locked onto your latest group chat blunder. Whether it’s a selfie from a forward operating base or an emoji-laden war plan accidentally texted to the fantasy football thread, the Enemy Eyes poster is a painfully accurate reminder: Xi, Kim, and Vlad are watching. And no, they’re not impressed.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPrinted on thick, museum-quality matte paper, this poster is perfect for any space where questionable OPSEC decisions are made—which, let’s be honest, is most spaces.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSpecs:\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\t10.3 mil thick matte paper—because this message needs weight\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\t189 g\/m² for a paper that lasts longer than your phone’s security update\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tBrightness: 104%, because subtlety is not the point\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tPaper sourced from Japan, not harvested from a compromised Signal server\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nHang it in your office, war room, or anywhere someone might “just forward this real quick.”\u003cbr\u003e\nBecause if you think that Signal thread is secure… they already know you do.","brand":"Duffel Blog","offers":[{"title":"12″×18″","offer_id":41680260071511,"sku":"9784224_3876","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"24″×36″","offer_id":41680260104279,"sku":"9784224_2","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0554\/3929\/4551\/files\/enhanced-matte-paper-poster-_in_-24x36-front-68095c9c0315c.jpg?v=1745444000"},{"product_id":"careless-sinking-poster","title":"Careless Sinking Poster","description":"One Signal thread. Zero survivors.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nA vintage-inspired warning with modern-day relevance, the Careless Sinking poster brings the drama of wartime propaganda into the encrypted era, where one wrong message can still go down in flames. With vivid imagery of a burning ship and panicked sailors, it’s the perfect reminder that a single careless Signal chat can unravel more than just a group thread.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPrinted on museum-quality matte paper, this poster is ideal for any room where OPSEC is preached but rarely practiced.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSpecs:\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tThick 10.3 mil matte paper—sturdy enough to withstand your security officer’s side-eye\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\t189 g\/m² weight for lasting impact (unlike that “accidental” emoji)\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tOpacity: 94%—because subtlety is for diplomats, not posters\u003cbr\u003e\n\t•\tPaper sourced from Japan, but safe to say it wasn’t forwarded there via Signal\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect for: offices, war rooms, ops centers, or your bathroom mirror as a daily reminder to think before you text. A careless Signal chat… a needless sinking. Don’t let your legacy be the typo that sank the ship.","brand":"Duffel Blog","offers":[{"title":"12″×16″","offer_id":41680270753879,"sku":"8075284_1349","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18″×24″","offer_id":41680270786647,"sku":"8075284_1","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0554\/3929\/4551\/files\/enhanced-matte-paper-poster-_in_-18x24-front-68095cd5de21a.jpg?v=1745444058"},{"product_id":"enemy-eyes-postcard","title":"Enemy Eyes Postcard","description":"When you absolutely, positively need to remind someone they’re not alone in that Signal thread.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFeaturing the now-infamous trio of international side-eyes—Kim, Xi, and Putin—this Enemy Eyes postcard is the ultimate satirical check on anyone who thinks their encrypted chat is truly private. 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